Musings
by Holzzzz
Summary: Harry's been hospitalized after an Auror mission. What's Ginny got to do with it? Discontinued.
1. Chapter 1

What do you do when part of your soul is dying? When that one person, whom you love and adore unconditionally and irrevocably, is laying before you, their death imminent… and it's all your fault. Your fault entirely, and you realise this as emotions come crashing over you as the heart monitor bleeps on the desk next to where you are sat. He's now obscured by wires attached to his hands and face, helping him live them extra minutes, continue breathing in the hospital air – it breaks you.

Beyond the wires, he lies asleep, not peacefully as he jolts and turns every few minutes, nothing about his sleep is peaceful, the occasional whimpers and shouts, _"Please, let me live, my daughter"_, accompanied by cries of despair, you know he is having nightmares. Problem is these aren't dreams of fiction, his cries are a remembering, the reality of what happened. You grimace at the thought, of considering the hell that they caused for him. How was he to know that they were your friends, how were you to know they were false, enemies hidden by masks intent on ruining both of you.

Truth was you were easily deceived.

You'd always imagined Harry would survive any attack; he'd survived Voldemort for heaven's sake! You didn't expect that you would be the one to cause his downfall. You'd always been wary, but the wizarding world seemed far safer, more carefree than it ever had. Voldemort's demise had resulted in a happier world, you had enjoyed the sunshine, the laughter, the fun. You'd stayed with Harry throughout, if not in person, in mind. He'd achieve his auror ambitions and headed the department, but you'd always thought his targets to be a doddle. You didn't imagine the intense research, searching, bugging was all in aid to find the boy you were friends with.

You hadn't envisioned this being your doing; Harry's determination to find this particular target, not only because his job required, but as a means of seeking knowledge. Information. Knowing why. Why were you were entangled in this illicit affair, more so when you claimed to be visiting family- majority of which, he knew to be at Hogwarts. Wanting to know were his relationship had gone wrong, and what had caused your deceit.

All Harry knew now; and what you know as well. You fit the image of a Potter woman, red hair, but missed the key ingredient. You weren't blood, Harry wanted a mother, but you were his wife. The only people he craved were by the name of Lily. His baby girl and his Mum.


	2. Chapter 2

Ginny's POV

You'd always wondered how you managed to strike so lucky, coming from a poor family, being the youngest and often mocked by your brothers, you always wondered, how, why did you ultimately get your hero.

When you first met Harry you held a very abundant crush on him, making you clumsy, putting elbows in butter dishes, crashing into doorways but you grew out of this phase and developed a friendship. You had been there to help had you not during your fourth year, when you had entered the Department of Mysteries, you'd offered comfort to Harry during his darkest moments, when Sirius had gone through the veil. Similarly a year later, when Dumbledore had been killed, it was you who offered your hand. It was you who became his shoulder to cry on, held his hand throughout the funeral, offered comforting words, but then things changed.

Harry had to leave with Ron and Hermione and had left you in the process. You went months without hearing any form of contact, fearing for his life, what lay out there and whether he was safe, your ex-boyfriend being the most wanted wizard by the ministry was not easily endurable. Harry had claimed he was splitting from you to keep you safe, but that was far from what occurred. Them horrible professors; the Carrows, how many times they had cursed you, deliberately caused you harm, you had lost count. All because they believed you to know Harry's location, where he was, what he was doing.

All the pain there however was nothing, nothing compared to how you felt by Harry's trick. When he had lain feigning death in Hagrid's arms, it had destroyed you. You felt as though your heart was being ripped apart, a big, gaping hole being left, and you'd never felt so hopeless. Upon discovering he was still living you were a mix of emotions- elated at his survival, but furious, fury embedding within you at the deceit and also a hint of longing, longing for revenge.

It was this revenge that led you to where we are now, sat on the bedside in St Mungo's. You had certainly extracted your revenge; of course you had, embarking on an affair with him of all people. Whilst he had sworn to hold no evil, to longer have connections to the dark side, you had embarked on a fling of passion with him, not realising you were being used. You were simply a tool for his plotting to destroy Harry.

Well he had certainly achieved that. And destroyed your family in the process. James, Albus and Lily could no longer look at you, they had each heartily informed you of their disgust with what had happened, James and Albus had walked out and you hadn't seen them since Harry entered here, Lily visited often, although never when you were there. No, Lily now insisted she had no mother, her real mother was a liar, a cheat and as far as she was concerned a murderer, just like her boyfriend, Draco Malfoy.


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry its taken me so long to update, I've been super busy. I GOT INTO UNIVERSITY! I shall update when I can but life's hectic at the mo but here a short little chapter for now :)

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><p>Following the wizarding war, Harry had placed a lot of trust in Draco. Whilst everybody else had been wary of accepting him into the new world, Harry had been adamant Draco wasn't as evil as people thought. Narcissa Malfoy had saved Harry's life by lying to Voldemort, and had insisted the family remain away from Azkaban. There was however still a stigma and a certain amount of disgust attached to the name 'Malfoy'. You yourself had felt outraged when they had asked for Bellatrix's body following the war, asked in order to give her a proper burial which nobody felt she deserved. It had taken all of your brothers plus Kingsley and your father preventing your mother from tearing Narcissa apart upon that request. You still remember your mother's shrieking, "that bitch who took Fred! What right does she have? The murderous cow! Destroying so many families, she should be thrown away, not given a proper burial, and certainly not mourned!"<p>

Whilst you whole-heartedly agreed with your mother's words you couldn't help but feel some sympathy towards the Malfoy's. They had still lost someone they cared about, someone who they had loved. Whilst many of Bellatrix's intentions had been evil, it was how she had been raised, echoing the beliefs of her parents and maintaining prejudice attitudes; she had still shown an amount of affection towards some of her family. She had still been an Aunt, and as you later found out acted as a mentor to Draco. Not just in teaching spells but had been someone Draco could confide in and ask for advice from no matter how trivial.

It was this that bonded you both. Draco grieved the loss of his aunt, his confident, and you grieved the loss of Fred, your mentor and confident, the person who you had always turned to, no matter what. Whilst before you had been enemies, the losses allowed you to build a friendship, snide comments about blood traitors and snakes were no longer thrown and instead a mutual acceptance of one another had occurred. An acceptance intensified and publicly shown when you had hugged one another as a means of comfort in the hours after the war, when Harry became friends with him and left him to look after you whilst dealing with the aftermath of the war.

The shock of the Potters befriending the Malfoys never completely faded. They were invited to the others weddings, sent greeting cards and frequently invited for tea and a catch up, acting as though everything at Hogwarts was merely a bad dream and never occurred. Now it is no shock that the affair began, what with Harry working late nights at the office. The elaborate plan still stuns you to the core though, such deceit for twenty years, to get to Harry as revenge for the downfall of Voldemort, their old master but also revenge for Bellatrix.


End file.
